Andy Borowitz

Rand Paul Joins Crowded Field of People Who Will Never Be President - The New Yorker

Rand Paul Joins Crowded Field of People Who Will Never Be President - The New Yorker:

Former Texas Governor Rick Perry, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum, and neurosurgeon Ben Carson are just a few of the men thought to be considering squandering time and money pursuing an office that they will never occupy in a billion years.

G.O.P. Split Over Whether to Waste Time Investigating Benghazi or Repealing Obamacare

G.O.P. Split Over Whether to Waste Time Investigating Benghazi or Repealing Obamacare

Warning that "the American people don't have an endless appetite for meaningless political theater," Cantor added, "If we're going to do something that's purely symbolic, pointless, and detached from reality, I say it should be repealing Obamacare for the thirtieth or fortieth time."