Wtf

Becoming one with John Galt

Dark Buddhism, one man’s attempt to fuse Buddhism with Randian Objectivism. To his credit, he’s quite clear on the flaws in the Cult of Ayn Rand, but it’s still strange to care so much about Rand’s bogus philosophy that you want to rescue it by stitching it up: building a hybrid of selflessness and selfishness is a contradiction sure to spawn deepities.

(via Becoming one with John Galt)

Reading this I have to remind myself that it only counts as comedy when you are funny on purpose.

Missouri Official Meant 'No Ill Intent' When She Called For Military Coup

Missouri Official Meant 'No Ill Intent' When She Called For Military Coup:

But I cannot and do not understand why no action is being taken against our domestic enemy. I know he is supposedly the commander in chief, but the constitution gives you the authority,” she wrote in the post. “What am I missing? Thank you for your bravery and may God keep you safe.”

Can we agree that discussing a Military Coup is off limits for anyone in uniform, elected or appointed officials and anyone that is part of a militia or political party?

4chan users threaten Emma Watson with nude photo leak over UN speech on gender equality

4chan users threaten Emma Watson with nude photo leak over UN speech on gender equality:

The frightening thing is that, like most of their other campaigns against women, they truly see themselves as just warriors fighting for what’s right. They believe that this is what Emma Watson has coming to her for daring to speak up or identify as a feminist.

The hostility to feminists online is equal parts amusing and disturbing.

GWAR to open its own restaurant, GWARbar, in Richmond this summer

GWAR to open its own restaurant, GWARbar, in Richmond this summer:

GWARbar will not merely be a place to gorge on delectable food-stuffs whilst hoisting endless flagons of liquid glee…it will not be just a shrine and showcase to the undeniable visual impact of the world’s most infamous metal band…the opening of the GWARbar will be the singularly most important culinary event to occur since the invention of the spoon!

GWAR. Really. GWAR.

Tweets for 2014-01-29

  1. CNN decides that rather than fact check the #SOTU speech they would just ask a few people if they believed the president. #WTF
  2. Do the GOP congressmen upset about Executive Orders realize they can undo any of them via legislation?
  3. CNN decides that rather than fact check the #SOTU speech they would just ask a few people if they believed the president. #WTF
  4. Biden is as pale as the white stripes of flag, John Boehner matches the red stripes.
  5. Obama saying he will close GITMO this year, for the 5th time, is like listening to a 500lbs man promise he will lose weight this year.
  6. Is it just me of did #Obama make a case for paternity leave in the #SOTU #SOTU2014 ?

Tweets for 2014-01-28

  1. CNN decides that rather than fact check the #SOTU speech they would just ask a few people if they believed the president. #WTF
  2. CNN decides that rather than fact check the #SOTU speech they would just ask a few people if they believed the president. #WTF
  3. Biden is as pale as the white stripes of flag, John Boehner matches the red stripes.
  4. Obama saying he will close GITMO this year, for the 5th time, is like listening to a 500lbs man promise he will lose weight this year.
  5. Is it just me of did #Obama make a case for paternity leave in the #SOTU #SOTU2014 ?

Dennis Rodman arrives in North Korea for strange basketball themed visit.

Dennis Rodman arrives in North Korea for strange basketball themed visit.:

Adding to what is already, objectively, a pretty ludicrous situation, Rodman’s trip is being sponsored by the online bookmaker Paddy Power. Executives from the company told the New York Times they struck up the relationship with Rodman after hiring him to help recruit bets on whether a black Pope would succeed Pope Benedict when he stepped down in February.

I’m glad Dennis Rodman is representing American and the interests of the American people, said no one ever.

Why are all the pig farms exploding?

Why are all the pig farms exploding?:

This solution to the exploding big barn is yet another example of environmental engineering that’s being done without an understanding of the complexity of the machine that we call Earth. Instead of changing what the pigs eat — or, indeed, changing how they are housed so that they aren’t living in their own shit — farmers are adding new inputs to this system that will eventually create an output of bacteria that humans cannot defend against.

Why isn’t the pig poop being collected and used to make methane? The methane could be burned for energy to power other waste disposal. Someone should do the math on this, I’m basing this idea on Barter Town from Mad Max 2.

Blood-Soaked Mayor Bloomberg Announces Homelessness No Longer A Problem In New York City

Blood-Soaked Mayor Bloomberg Announces Homelessness No Longer A Problem In New York City:

Drenched in drying blood and limping slightly, New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg triumphantly stated this morning that the city’s longstanding homeless problem had finally been solved. “Homelessness is over—it’s not a problem anymore,” a winded Bloomberg said to a City Hall press conference while gripping the lectern tightly to prevent his hands from shaking. “I fixed the problem. Problem solved.” 


The Onion. Wow. 


Glenn Beck warns people not to trust conspiracy theorists. Irony has died today, let us all morn.

Soup Kitchens Caused the Great Depression

Soup Kitchens Caused the Great Depression

Quiggin's post takes on both Mulligan's specifics and the broader claim that increased use of the social safety net is a cause rather than a result of the depressed economy. As one of his commenters points out, this amounts to the claim that soup kitchens caused the Great Depression. Quiggin does an admirable job of refuting this claim. I would, however, add one more point. If you really believe that the problem is that excessive generosity to the downtrodden is reducing the incentive to work, so that what we really have is a supply problem rather than a demand problem, you should expect to see upward pressure on wages.

For the last few years we have had downward pressure on wages consistent with a demand problem. And it is unlikely that soup kitchens were a cause of the Great Depression.

Those who claim that inflation is vastly understated often appeal to the authority of Shadowstats

Those who claim that inflation is vastly understated often appeal to the authority of Shadowstats, a site that purports to provide true measures of many economic variables. Shadowstats doesn't come cheap: currently, an annual subscription costs $175. Six years ago, an annual subscription cost ... $175.
Another Alternative Inflation Measure - NYTimes.com

Does Katie Holmes get to keep her scientology super powers or will Xenu take them back?

I love how the SCOTUS upholding an idea that came from the Heritage Foundation is now proof that we are heading toward socialism. Private, for profit insurance plus private, for profit hospitals plus private, for profit doctors equals socialism?

Remember about a decade ago when we had the summer of shark attacks? This summer it’s zombies.

Producer Irving Thalberg would often call people in for meetings, and then keep them waiting in his office for hours while he attended other meetings on the MGM lot....One day, Thalberg came back from another meeting to find Groucho Marx, Chico Marx, and Harpo Marx sitting in his office completely naked, and roasting potatoes on sticks in his office fireplace. Thalberg sat down with them, had a potato, and never missed or interrupted another meeting with the Marx Brothers.

Producer Irving Thalberg would often call people in for meetings, and then keep them waiting in his office for hours while he attended other meetings on the MGM lot….One day, Thalberg came back from another meeting to find Groucho Marx, Chico Marx, and Harpo Marx sitting in his office completely naked, and roasting potatoes on sticks in his office fireplace. Thalberg sat down with them, had a potato, and never missed or interrupted another meeting with the Marx Brothers.
A Night at the Opera (1935) - Trivia - IMDb

Seattle Attorney Andrew Basiago Claims U.S. Sent Him On Time Travels

Seattle Attorney Andrew Basiago Claims U.S. Sent Him On Time Travels

Seattle attorney Andrew Basiago has been publicly claiming that from the time he was 7 to when he was 12, he participated in “Project Pegasus,” a secret U.S. government program that he says worked on teleportation and time travel under the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency.

Whenever I heard about magical technologies they claim came from Tesla’s lost notebooks, I cringe.

According to a 21-page media strategy letter, al Qaeda operative Adam Gadahn didn't care for Fox News, thought CNN was better in Arabic and liked MSNBC better before Keith Olbermann was fired.

According to a 21-page media strategy letter, al Qaeda operative Adam Gadahn didn't care for Fox News, thought CNN was better in Arabic and liked MSNBC better before Keith Olbermann was fired.

Inside Al Qaeda's Media Strategy | TPMMuckraker

Also, The Beatles White Album was totally overrated.

Hannibal Gadhafi-son of the assassinated Libyan dictator-built a ship with a 120-ton sea water aquarium inside. Why? To put six sharks inside, including two bull sharks and two whites, the most dangerous in the world.

Hannibal Gadhafi-son of the assassinated Libyan dictator-built a ship with a 120-ton sea water aquarium inside. Why? To put six sharks inside, including two bull sharks and two whites, the most dangerous in the world.

Gadhafi’s Son Built a Ship With Deadly Shark Tank Inside | Danger Room | Wired.com

Did they have freaking lasers on their heads?

You're more awesome than a monkey wearing a tuxedo made out bacon riding a cyborg unicorn with a lightsaber for the horn on the tip of a space shuttle closing in on Mars while ingulfed in flames ... And in case you didn't know, that's pretty dang sweet,

You’re more awesome than a monkey wearing a tuxedo made out bacon riding a cyborg unicorn with a lightsaber for the horn on the tip of a space shuttle closing in on Mars while ingulfed in flames ... And in case you didn’t know, that’s pretty dang sweet,

Weatherman cooler than a ‘cyborg unicorn’ - UPI.com

My wife showed me this a while back. Really funny.

Thanks to the uncertain science of redrawing political boundaries, Larimer County is home to what may be the smallest precinct in the state, if not the country. The precinct contains one house and two registered voters. It's the home of Butch Hartson and Ann Grant off County Road 48 east of Fort Collins.

Thanks to the uncertain science of redrawing political boundaries, Larimer County is home to what may be the smallest precinct in the state, if not the country. The precinct contains one house and two registered voters. It’s the home of Butch Hartson and Ann Grant off County Road 48 east of Fort Collins.
A precinct built for two in Larimer County | The Coloradoan | coloradoan.com

Like most Americans, you've probably never been able to afford a trip on the subway, as it is the exclusive domain of Champagne-sipping dandies who love nothing more than to luxuriate in the MTA's Gilded Age-opulence. But from what we've heard, it's like entering another dimension of sophistication and enchantment, where only the most glamorous citizens ride gold-leaf locomotives along shimmering silver tracks winding through wondrous subterranean cathedrals that none of you lickspittles posses the refinement to appreciate.

Like most Americans, you’ve probably never been able to afford a trip on the subway, as it is the exclusive domain of Champagne-sipping dandies who love nothing more than to luxuriate in the MTA’s Gilded Age-opulence. But from what we’ve heard, it’s like entering another dimension of sophistication and enchantment, where only the most glamorous citizens ride gold-leaf locomotives along shimmering silver tracks winding through wondrous subterranean cathedrals that none of you lickspittles posses the refinement to appreciate.
Newt Gingrich: If You Ride The Subway, You’re An Elitist : Gothamist

the men, who claimed they were enforcing Islamic law, were shocked when the women attacked them with their own canes and shoved them out onto the street, where the women found support from bystanders, witnesses said.

the men, who claimed they were enforcing Islamic law, were shocked when the women attacked them with their own canes and shoved them out onto the street, where the women found support from bystanders, witnesses said.

Egyptian women cane ‘morality police’ - UPI.com

You go girl.

Republicans in control of the chamber shut off the microphones , the House was gaveled adjourned for the day, and C-SPAN TV was instructed to quit broadcasting the events. Democrats still believed they had made their point, even if Americans at home weren't permitted to see them doing it.

Republicans in control of the chamber shut off the microphones , the House was gaveled adjourned for the day, and C-SPAN TV was instructed to quit broadcasting the events. Democrats still believed they had made their point, even if Americans at home weren’t permitted to see them doing it.

With Congress Away, Democrats Storm the House Floor - Billy House - NationalJournal.com

Didn’t something like this happen in the Soviet Politburo a few weeks before the collapse of the Soviet Union?

in a 1998 John Birch Society film unearthed by Andy Kaczynski, Paul endorsed some of the more paranoid ideas outlined in the Ron Paul Survival Report-including the the idea that a United Nations dictatorship was imminent

in a 1998 John Birch Society film unearthed by Andy Kaczynski, Paul endorsed some of the more paranoid ideas outlined in the Ron Paul Survival Report-including the the idea that a United Nations dictatorship was imminent

Old Ron Paul Video Warns of One-World Religion, UN Dictatorship | Mother Jones

Unintentionally hilarious conspiracy theory from the John Birch Society. For over 40 years, the Birchers have been world leaders in conspiracy.

The remainder of Rep. Paul's portfolio - fully 64% of his assets - is entirely in gold and silver mining stocks....Mr. Bernstein says he has never seen such an extreme bet on economic catastrophe. "This portfolio is a half-step away from a cellar-full of canned goods and nine-millimeter rounds," he says.

The remainder of Rep. Paul's portfolio - fully 64% of his assets - is entirely in gold and silver mining stocks….Mr. Bernstein says he has never seen such an extreme bet on economic catastrophe. "This portfolio is a half-step away from a cellar-full of canned goods and nine-millimeter rounds," he says.

Greg Mankiw’s Blog: The Ron Paul Portfolio

So is his advocacy of a gold standard a conflict of interest?

Iron Chef:GOP Primary

If Donald Trump gets to moderate a GOP debate, why not other reality stars?

Why not a debate moderated by Chairman Kaga from the original Iron Chef? Marcus Bachman could help him pick out an outfit. Each topic of discussion would be presented on a silver tray and read with a flourish. The candidates would get equal time to formulate an answer and present it to three judges who would make inane comments about the answer before providing an arbitrary score.

Would it be any more ridiculous than the Trump debate promises to be?

When we dissect the cube of heaven we see that it is constructed like a living cell with its own system of energy circulation and metabolism. (See diagram) From all appearances it is a giant soular battery/generator which allows the ONE mind of the collective G.O.D. to be able to feed off the life essences of the enslaved souls held within its "temple pillars" and redirect their energies according to the will of the ONE. ... Will YOU be a "pillar" in the temple of God? (via Awesome New UFO Theory: Approaching Comet is Really a Borg Cube From Jesus)

Prince Philip was a ufologist!?!?

Prince Philip was a ufologist!?!?

Eade discovered that not only was Prince Philip a subscriber to the magazine Flying Saucer Review, but that he once sent his equerry, Sir Peter Horsley, "to meet an extraterrestrial humanoid at a house in Ealing."

Prince Philip is a long running Monty Python sketch that brilliantly parodies the royal family. In this episode, set during the cold war; he becomes a ufologist and wastes the time of the RAF.

Amish mob violence

Amish mob violence

"In one attack, the men allegedly packed a horse-drawn buggy, rode to a home and cut the hair off some men and women in the house. The violent haircuts are meant to humiliate and punish those Amish who are supposedly weak in the faith."

Who could have imagined Amish Gangs doing horse and buggy drive-by attacks? Other than Weird Al Yankovic, of course.

The "Rebbe's Riders," members of the Lubavitch sect from Brooklyn, said their motorcycles give them a way to connect with other Jewish bikers who may have lost touch with their faith, the New York Post reported Tuesday.

The “Rebbe’s Riders,” members of the Lubavitch sect from Brooklyn, said their motorcycles give them a way to connect with other Jewish bikers who may have lost touch with their faith, the New York Post reported Tuesday.

Hassidic biker gang ministers to Jews - UPI.com

Can someone call Mel Brooks and let him know his next movie is waiting for him?

Hawk flies into N.Y. apartment building

Animal rescuers in New York said a red-tailed hawk that entered an apartment building through an open third-story window has been released.

Joe Moderski, a resident of the West 80th Street walkup, said he found the hawk in the hallway outside of his fifth-floor apartment when he arrived home at about 3:30 p.m. Sunday. He said it apparently had flown in through a third-floor window and been flying around the hallways, the New York Daily News reported Tuesday.

"I thought I missed a pillow fight in the hallway or something," Moderski said. "There were feathers everywhere."


From Hawk flies into N.Y. apartment building - UPI.com


Odd. Pillow fight?

I’m shocked that Gadaffi had a crush on Condi Rice. I always thought he would be into the Edie McClurg type.

He radiates a certain charisma, a crustacean charisma

Officials at the New York Aquarium said they have acquired a gargantuan 18-pound lobster from a seafood company worker who decided not to cook the crustacean.

Aquarium Director Jon Dohlin said the lobster, which is estimated to be 75 years old, went on display this week and has proven a hit with visitors, the New York Daily News reported Thursday.

"He radiates a certain charisma," Dohlin said, "a crustacean charisma."


From He radiates a certain charisma, a crustacean charisma

What could I add?

Somalia's al-Shabaab militants ban samosas

Somalia’s al-Shabaab group has banned samosas after ruling the popular snacks are too Christian, it was reported on Tuesday.
But the newspaper said locals believed al-Shabaab leaders had decided the triangular shape was not compatible with their strict version of Islam.
The unexpected move means Somalis could now expect to be punished if caught cooking, buying or eating samosas, known locally as sambusas.
From Somalia’s al-Shabaab militants ban samosas

Glad to see that Somalia has solved all its major problems and can focus on issues like this. Wonder if they will go after by-the-slice pizza next.

Ten Serious Medical Problems With Cutesy Names

Alice in Wonderland Syndrome

This is a neurological syndrome that affects perception. People can feel like they’re giants, or have giant body parts, moving through a tiny world. They can also feel like they’ve shrunk down to a miniature version of themselves. Sounds a bit like a fun trip, but having a view of reality that is completely off-kilter is a dangerous thing when it comes to walking downstairs or gauging how long a fall is. This syndrome most often comes on at night. Pleasant dreams


From io9


One pill make you smaller?

North Korea's happiness index rank: China top, US bottom

A Chinese media, Chaoxian.com.cn, reported on Thursday that North Korea’s Chosun Central TV recently released the survey result of a ‘Happiness Index (Gross National Happiness) of each nation,’ which was conducted in North Korea.

According to the index, the happiest country in the world is China and North Korea is ranked no. 2. Interestingly, South Korea is ranked No.152 and the U.S. ranks last at No.203.

Chaoxian.com.cn sarcastically commented that “North Korea gladly gave the no. 1 spot to China and North Korea itself ranked no. 2. North Korea must be the happiest country in the universe.”

China scored 100 points and was selected as the country where the happiest people live in and North Korea with 98 points, ranked at no. 2.

The top five rankings include Cuba (no. 3, 93 points), Iran (no.4, 88 points), and Venezuela (no.5, 85 points). South Korea, with 18 points, was placed at no.152 and the U.S. ranked no. 203 with its score not marked.


From North Korea’s happiness index rank: China top, US bottom


Amazing.

Scientists have trained a computer program, called DEviaNT, to identify good "That's what she said" jokes:

Automating this process means identifying sentences that contain potential euphemisms and follow a particular structure - a “hard natural language understanding problem”, say the researchers. … They then evaluated nouns, adjectives and verbs with a “sexiness” function to determine whether a sentence is a potential TWSS. Examples of nouns with a high sexiness function are “rod” and “meat”, while raunchy adjectives are “hot” and “wet”.

Future work could also see DEviaNT extended to identify other kinds of jokes, say the researchers, writing “The technique of metaphorical mapping may be generalized to identify other types of double entendres and other forms of humor”.

From Puerile Tech by way of New Scientist

Atheists Seek Chaplain Role in the Military

Groups representing atheists say they are hoping to give voice to what they say is a large - and largely underground - population of nonbelievers in the military.


From NYT

Can they make Dawkins the Atheist Pope?

I used to Atheist Minister as a joke job title on forms for tech magazines because I thought it was funny.

The Euthanasia Coaster, the last roller coaster you'll ever ride

Euthanasia Coaster” is a hypothetic euthanasia machine in the form of a roller coaster, engineered to humanely - with elegance and euphoria - take the life of a human being. Riding the coaster’s track, the rider is subjected to a series of intensive motion elements that induce various unique experiences: from euphoria to thrill, and from tunnel vision to loss of consciousness, and, eventually, death. Thanks to the marriage of the advanced cross-disciplinary research in space medicine, mechanical engineering, material technologies and, of course, gravity, the fatal journey is made pleasing, elegant and meaningful.

From The Euthanasia Coaster, the last roller coaster you’ll ever ride

Sounds like a Disney/Philip K Dick collaboration.

Al Franken and Rand Paul?

Paul, the freshman Republican and Tea Party favorite says that he and Franken are hitting it off in the Senate. Franken attended Paul's reception after his swearing in, and Paul has requested Franken be his Democratic mentor (each new senator gets a Democratic and GOP mentor), Politico reported.

Franken has decided to take Paul under his wing, his office confirmed.

From Star Tribune: Franken makes a Tea Party friend | Al Franken - U.S. Senator, Minnesota

Wow.

I keep waiting for a Dino Dan episode where the imaginary dinosaurs tell Dan to assassinate Ronald Reagan to impress Jodie Foster.

Does Hybrid Clone Lizard taste like Chicken?

A lizard long served on the menu in the Mekong Delta has recently caught the attention of scientists when it was noted that all animals in the species appeared identical as well as female. The species appears to be a hybrid of two other species (like a mule or liger). But the curious thing is that this hybrid isn’t sterile - it reproduces asexually.


From Does Hybrid Clone Lizard taste like Chicken?


Interesting. But does it taste like cloned chicken?

Texas Supreme Court Cites Mr. Spock

An anonymous reader writes “We always knew that Spock was wise and would probably make a pretty good judge, so perhaps it’s a good thing to see the Texas Supreme Court citing Spock in a recent ruling, noting his wisdom in stating that “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”“
Read more of this story at Slashdot.

From Texas Supreme Court Cites Mr. Spock


Wow, and with a straight face no less

Why do Tea Partiers capitalize their nouns?

If he becomes governor of Colorado, Tea Partier Dan Maes will remind citizens that “freedom originates in a Supreme Ruler of the Universe,” according to his Web site. In her campaign materials, New Jersey congressional candidate and Tea Partier Anna C. Little rhapsodizes the “inalienable rights by our Creator, among them Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness” and touts strict border control as “the first step in the process of regaining control of our Republic.” As you read these sentences, your first question is surely: Why do these and other Tea Party candidates hold the rules of capitalization in such contempt?

From Why do Tea Partiers capitalize their nouns?

Hmm? Teabonics has a punctuation equivalent?

Trent Reznor Has a Few Choice Words For Apple

Add this tale to the growing lore of the inscrutable iPhone app approval process: Apple has rejected an application from Nine Inch Nails front man and entrepreneur extraordinaire Trent Reznor, possibly because it can stream a song that contains a single curse word
Trent Reznor Has a Few Choice Words For Apple | Epicenter

This is a true WTF moment. And is succinctly explains why I hate everything about Apple except their products. The products are amazing. The company sucks.